Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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