Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize