Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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