so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couch. On fire.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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