oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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