working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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