Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize