yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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