He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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