I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize