Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
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Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
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Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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