You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize