Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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