dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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