I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
vagina is talking i cant
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
