I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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