I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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