You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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