I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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