there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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