It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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