Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i now understand why vodka
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize