My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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