i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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