if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize