How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The power of my boobs compel you
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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