Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
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you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
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Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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