you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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