if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize