grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
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I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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