the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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