so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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