just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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