Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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