You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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