It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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