He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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