my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize