Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize