HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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