I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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