I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize