yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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