nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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