I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize