It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize