Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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