dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize