does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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