who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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