I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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